Monday 15 August 2011

Day 76- Indulgence and pain

I'm starting to get used to but also tired of being in constant aching pain. I woke up this morning and felt like I'd been run over by lorry. Its rather brutal but it does have the minorly redeeming sensation of success or satidfaction. But like I say it mostly just hurts.

I am so tired its untrue.

So we got an indulgence licence yesterday and in my usual fashion I wouldn't let the sun set before I got stright on that! We went out to dinner with family and I was searching the menue for my big fat indulgence. Its not where I would have chosen to go fo rmy indulgence, we had already booked it for a family birthday. What I really wanted was a mexican tosstada or some hearty spag bol. I was going to get steak and chips, or a burger but when it came down to it, I couldn't bring myself to order it. I thought, I would love a bite of one of those but I don't want a whole meal! so I ordered the roasted cod fillet with green beans and some boiled potatoes! the cod had chickpeas and a bit of chorizo which was the naughty bit.

I had a brownie for pud which was very indulgent.

I learned that I couldn't eat a large quantity of somethign. The thought of eating a lot of anything felt quite overwhelming to be honest. I really couldn't face the sort of volume of food I used to. But I still definatley have a weakness for certain (chocholatey) things but I can only eat them in small quantities.

I feel less inclined to eat all my carbs today. I feel the need to restore the balance or something. I definately feel like the balance has been tipped.

2 hours at the gym tonight. I'm trying to get my extra 40 mins cardio in most days. I still have more fat to loose. Can't wait until we can have some time off and I've got space to think about and do other things in my life again!



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